Good morning,
Welcome to the world sunshine!

You can't stay in bed forever.
Remember the deal:
Bed is for sleeping and masturbating
And you've had about as much as the human body can take of either of those so...
... we're going to get out of bed today!

Brace yourself, I'm like 90% certain you forgot to set the heating to come on this morning, so this isn't going to be pleasant for either of us.
5 - 4 - 3 - 2...
Okay, I'm not fucking around
Get out of bed
Come on!

Have a shower immediately.
I know you think you're fine and you smell okay -
You're not and you don't.
And as soon as you get into the shower you're not gonna want to get out of it.
This is what we do.
Get clean, get our body feeling better,
AND THEN WE PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON, CLEAN CLOTHES -
UGH, FUCK SAKE,
NO
IF YOU NEED TO DO A SMELLCHECK THEY'RE NOT CLEAN,
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M ADDING DO THE LAUNDRY TO TODAY'S LIST

Everybody has times where they just want to stay asleep forever
It's normal
Sometimes it lasts for days, weeks, or months
Even years

Maybe you've been broken up with
Maybe you hate your job
Maybe there isn't a reason
Maybe just fuck everything, because fuck everything,
But here's the thing
Nobody ever got happier lying around waiting to get happier,
SO STOP MAKING EXCUSES AND START MAKING YOURSELF SOME FUCKING BREAKFAST, JESUS CHRIST, HOW IS IT ALMOST 3PM
COME ON

Good morning welcome to the world, sunshine
This is how we get better
Every day we wake up and we get out of bed
We get dressed
We clean up last night's mess
And we keep doing these things, not because they're guaranteed to make us feel good
But because failing to do them is guaranteed to make us feel bad

And listen
I know.
I know it feels like I've just got you lugging heavy rocks around all day 
for no reason, 
with no reward
But please trust me, I can see what you're not able to see yet.
This isn't just a pile of stones
Okay?
We're building a castle together.
And we are going to build it brick by heavy brick
And I'm going to be here with you, every moment
Talking you through it
All you need to do is look at the ground in front of you
And put one foot in front of the other
And one day soon, I think,
I hope,
You're going to look up and you're going to see what we've been working on all this time.
You are going to see how far you've come
Rather than just how far there is still left to go
And eventually
You won't need me around so much anymore

So
One foot in front of the other
Pick up the rock
We're getting out of bed today